Random Crap
by Ayumi Oguri
Summary: Just a fic to vent my feelings and write what's on my mind. KonBleach and FreyAlice19 are here almost every time!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own neither _Bleach _nor _Alice 19.

Random Crap

Ayumi: I'm so damn bored. Anyone got anything interesting to talk about?

Frey: We could talk about your sister's bra size.

Kon: Hell yes!

Ayumi: HELL NO! Perverts.

Frey: I'm hurt.

Ayumi: Good. Maybe you'll- Hey! Where the hell is Kon?

Yoshiko: Ayumi! What the hell is your doll doing in my bra drawer? I warned you about this!

Ayumi: Uh- Oh.

Kon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! O MY GOD! IT HURTS! MAKE IT STOP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Frey: What's going on?

Ayumi: Yoshiko nee-san is probably slowly tearing off each of his limbs to torture him before I go rescue him. If I go rescue him.

Frey: Are you?

Ayumi: Probably not. He deserves it.

Frey: That's really cold, Ayu- chan.

Ayumi: Don't call me that.

Kon:HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPMMMMMMEEEEEE!

Ayumi: … I'll be right back.

Frey: Good luck.

Ayumi:… Thanks.

Ichigo: Is Kon here? I need to kill him real quick.

Frey: Ayu- chan just went to rescue him from Yoshiko- chan.

Ichigo: Why's he in need of rescuing?

Frey: He snuck into Yoshiko-chan's bra drawer.

Ichigo: … Oh.

CRASH! BAM!

Yoshiko: Holy Hell! What was that for, Ayu- chan!

Ayumi: DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU BITCH!!

Kon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M TEARING, I'M TEARING!KNOCK IT OFF!

Yoshiko & Ayumi: SHUT UP, PERVERT!

Ichigo:… I'll come back later.

Ayumi(entering room): No need. Here, take Kon.

Ichigo:... Is that blood? Is Kon actually _bleeding_?!

Ayumi: ... Just go.

Frey: I think I'll go, too.

Ayumi: Later.

_Please review so Ayumi, Frey, and Kon can do _Random Crap chp.7_. Thanx._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I own neither _BleachAlice19_, nor _Fruits Basket.

Random Crap-chp.2

Ayumi: So Kon, how ya doin'?

Kon: …

Ayumi: What, the silent treatment? I didn't know you were six.

Kon: …

Ayumi: Sheesh. Still upset over a tear or two? What a goddamn baby.

Kon: …

Frey: Hey, Kon, you're not still mad, are you?

Kon: …

Ayumi: Fine. C'mon, Frey, we'll drink all this booze ourselves.

Frey: Booze? Aren't you underage?

Ayumi: So? You're underage, too.

Frey: I'm 19!

Ayumi: Which is underage!

Shigure: Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

Ayumi& Frey: AHHHHHHHH!

Ayumi: Knock next time, Shigure! You almost gave me a heart attack!

Frey: Dumbass.

Shigure: But the door was open. Oh, hi Kon!

Kon: …

Shigure: What's wrong withy him?

Ayumi: He's pissed that Yoshiko nee- san and me almost tore him in half.

Shigure: Didn't Yoshiko- chan leave for the army on Sept. 25?

Ayumi: So? I created this fic. I am the author. If you think about it, if you live or die while writing depends on _me_. Therefore, I am able to use whoever I goddamn please.

Shigure: Got it.

Ayumi: Have some booze.

Shigure: Gladly.

Frey: HEY!!! I told you not to drink that, Ayu- chan.

Ayumi: And I told you not to call me Ayu- chan. See? We're both clear on the terms. Even if I don't follow yours. - _gulp- _Anyhow, you ain't my mother. Kon, want some booze? Ichigo's out hollow hunting right now.

Kon: … Fine.

Frey: He speaks!

Kon: Shut up, Mr. Let- Kon- Get- Torn- To- Shreds- By- Two- Insane Females.

Frey: So you_ are_ still pissed over that.

Ayumi: So, do you want some booze or not?

Kon: Grab Ichigo's body and I'll be ready.

All: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

_Next time on Random Crap: Kon drinks!_

Kon: No duh. Jackass

_Help save otaku. Review._


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I own not of Bleach, Alice19th, or Fruits Basket._

_Random crap chp.3_

_ Kon! I find ed Rukia's glove thing!_

Kon: What?

_I founded Rukia's glove thing._

Kon: Where?

_ In Ichigo's room._

Kon: You snuck into Ichigo's room?

_ No. Isshin let me in. I told him Ichigo was watching something for me that I needed immediately_.

Kon: And he bought that?

_ Yeah. He probably would have bought the excuse that my sister's his girlfriend and she sent me to gather her belongings._

Kon: Would he now.

_ If I wanted him to. I control this fic, remember?_

Kon: ... Oh. Drunk perv #1 has Ichigo's body.

Shigure: Huh? What drunk pervert? We are both competely slober.

Frey: He means you, Shigure- san.

Shigure: ... Oh. Here's Itchygo's body.

_ Thanks. C'mere, Kon_.

Kon: I'm coming I'm coming.

_ Okay now stay very still and try not to barf, will ya?_

Kon: What? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_POP_

Kon: I never wanted to go through that again!

_Suck it up. God, you're such a mother f$#ing baby._

Kon:Go to hell! How would you like it if I made you f$#ing kiss someone of the same f$#ing gender while forcing their f$#Zing soul out of their f$# body?!

_Look, I made sure you were'nt kissin' him, so shut the hell up, you goddamn baby. Sheesh, it's almost as if you were afraid he'd kill you if you used his body._

Kon: That's exactly what'll happen. He'll kill me.

_Whatever. just start drinkin'. Drink till ya pass out, ... people whose names currently escape me!_

** Next time on _Random Crap_: **Ichigo murders Kon!

_ Save otaku. Please review.  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer; If I owned any of the manga used in this fic, I wouldn't have to worry about being sued by Jimmy Eat World for using their song._

Random Crap- chp.4

Frey; What'sh wif da dishclaimer?

Kon; Has shomething dishturbed your perfect little world?

_L died._

Frey; Who?

Shigure; Luh? What kinda name is that?

_L! As in the letter L!_

Shigure; Oh. Izere anymore booze?

Frey; Here. Now, Who's L?

_Only the greatest anime/ manga character ever._

Ishida; I've been demoted?!

_Where'd you come from?_

Ishida; The front door.

_Ha-ha. Yeah, you've been demoted._

Ishida; Why?

_Cause L's cooler. Duh. Also, you failed to kill Ichigo dead._

Ishida; Why would I want Kurosaki dead?

'_Cause I hate him._

Ishida; That doesn't me-

_Anyway, back to the point. We're all gonna sing "May Angels Lead You In" by _Jimmy Eat World.

All; F$# that.

_WOW! You're in unison!_

45 minutes later...

Frey; There's no one in town, nonono.

_You gave us someplace to go._

Light; I never said "Tha-

_WAIT! HOLD THE PHONE! WHAT THE F$# ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE, LIGHT?!_

Light; What's the big deal?

I F$#ING HATE YOU, YOU F$#ING ASSHOLE!!

Light; What did I do to you? Geez...

_YOU KILLED L, YOU GODDAMN MOTHER F$#ING ASSHOLE! I COULDA SWORN MY FIRST RULE OF THE ROOM IS THAT LIGHT WAS TO BE SHOT IF SPOTTED!_

Light; But I didn't kill L. Rem did...

_IT WAS YOUR FAULT, SMART ASS! GET OUT! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!_

Light; Geez. I'll leave, I'll leave...

Frey; Hey, wait a minnit...

Ishida; HE'S GOT A DEATH NOTE ON HIM!

_FIRE!_

Light; Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!

_Too bad. _ gunshot

Ishida; Is he dead?

_Yep. Now, back to the song!_

_Next time, on Random Crap;_

_ Ishida kills Ichigo!  
_

_ Save otaku. Please review. _


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer; I own none of the manga or music used in this fic._

Random Crap- chp.5

Frey; There's no one in town, nonono.

_You gave us someplace to go_

Ishida; I never said " Thank you" for that

_Thought I might get one more chance._

Shigure; What would you think of me now?

_So lucky, so strong, so proud._

Kon; I never said "Thank you" for that

_Now I'll never have a chance._

All; May angels lead you in.

_Here you meet my friends_

Ishida; On sleepless roads where sleepless go

_May angels lead you in._

music plays

Frey; So what would you think of me now?

_So lucky, so strong, so proud._

Kon; I never said "Thank you" for that.

_Now I'll never have a chance._

All; May angels lead you in.

_Here you meet my friends_

Shigure; On sleepless roads the sleepless go

_May angels lead you in._

Ayumi & Ishida; May angels lead you in.

Shigure & Kon; May angels lead you in.

Ayumi & Frey; May angels lead you in.

All; May angels lead you in.

Frey; And if you were with me tonight

_I'd sing to you just one more time._

Ishida; Song for the heart so big

_God wouldn't let it live._

All; May angels lead you in.

_Here you meet my friends_

Frey; On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

_May angels lead you in._

Ishida; May angels lead you in.

_Here you meet my friends._

Kon; On sleepless roads the sleepless go.

_May angels lead you in._

Shigure; May angels lead you in.

_Here you meet my friends._

Frey; On sleepless roads the sleepless go

_May angels lead you in_

Frey & Shigure; On sleepless roads the sleepless go

_May angels lead you in_

music fades

_That was awesome! We can all sing well while drunk!_

Shigure; Yep.

_Well, you guys gotta go. My mom'll be home soon._

Kon; ...'Kay

Frey; Gotcha.

Ishida; ...Ugh.

Shigure; Shee ya later, Ayu- shan.

_Next time, on_ Random Crap;

_There's no singing! Bring back the singing!_

_Save otaku. Please review._


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer; I own not of Bleach or Alice 19__th__. If I did, Tite Kubo and Yuu Watase wouldn't be suing me. NOT! That would be scary, though. Can you imagine what it would be like to wake up one day and have a lawyer pounding on your door and handing you a court notice. That would suck a-_

Frey; Ayumi!

_All right. On with the fic._

Random Crap- chp. 6

_So, where's Kon?_

Frey; Sick.

_How can a mod konpaku be sick? He's a modified SOUL for god's sake._

Frey; How am I supposed to know? Ichigo called this morning and said Kon would be staying home. I think Ichigo's trying to murder him. I'm sure that dumbass has a major hangover thanks to Kon.

_HEY! Only I'm allowed to call Ichigo a dumbass! Well, me and Renji, but Renji isn't here yet, so only I can call Ichigo a dumbass._

Frey; Uh-huh. So you're the only one who can insult Ichigo. Well, you and Renji.

_No. Anyone can insult him. It's just that only me and Renji can call him a dumbass. Oh, and Byakuya, too, if e wants too._

Frey; Why Byakuya?

_Cause Byakuya kicks ass. Gotta problem with that?!_

Frey; 'Course not. I like Byakuya, too, ya know. More than you!

_Um... that's... well, I hope you two are happy together. I'm sure you'll stay faithful until you die._

Frey; ???

Renji; She's saying your gay, dumbass.

_Renji, I'm trying to teach him to be independent and to think for himself._

Frey; HEY! I'm right here, ya know! And that's not what I meant!

Renji; Oh, he's blushing.

_How adorable._

Frey; Meanies! I hate you!

_Did we hurt your feelings? Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you go ask your boyfriend to kiss it better?_

Frey; That's not what I meant! That's not what I meant!

Renji; Why the violent denial?

_Oh my god, are you really dating Byakuya?_

Frey; What? No!

_Oh, it's true...Renji, call Asuka- nee-san. She has GOT to hear this._

Frey; I AM NOT GAY!

_Of course you aren't._

Byakuya; Renji, you have things to do.

_Byakuya- sama!_

Byakuya; Do I know you?

_No, but I'm a HUGE fan. You are so awesome._

Frey; Me too! You are a god!

Byakuya; ...

Renji; ...

_Wow. Are you REALLY that gay for him?_

Frey; What?! NO! Why do you keep saying that.

'_Cause you haven't proved us wrong yet._

Frey; Oh really. Say, why don't you tell Byakuya what you were saying earlier?

_Huh? What, you mean about you being gay for him? He already knows that._

Frey; No, I mean you saying he was my BOYFRIEND!!!

Byakuya; ...

Renji; Dude, we were just teasing you. Everyone knows Byakuya's straight. I mean, come on, his Shikai and Bankai forms might point in the opposite direction, but he's as straight as a nail.

Byakuya; Excuse me? What's wrong with my zanpaku-to?

Renji; Well...

_It is a little gay. But cool. Definitely cool._

Byakuya; Is that so? Well, I seem to be getting a bit rusty...maybe I should practice on you?

Frey; I just remembered, I have an appointment with my therapist...

_HEY!_

Renji; Traitor!

Byakuya; Scatter, Zenbonsakura.

_CRAP! Renji this is your fault!_

Renji; Less talkie, more runnie!

_Next time, on _Random Crap

_REVIEWS GALORE! Reviews will be replied to from all my fic!_

_Save otaku. Please review._


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer; I don't own _Death Note, Bleach, _or_ Alice 19th. _Don't_ _worry, _Fruits Basket_ WILL come. Next chapter._

Random Crap chp. 7

_Hey, everybody! How are you? I know I just added chapter six last night, but I don't know when I'll get the chance to update again, so I'm taking full advantage of my sister being at work._

Frey; Kon's at Ishida's house getting fixed.

_HEY! No insulting Ishida! And no gay jokes for you! Byakuya said he's never coming back cause of your boyfriend comment!_

Frey; I wasn't insulting Ishida or making a gay joke. Kon really is at Ishida's house, and he's being repaired.

_Oh. Why?_

Frey; Apparently Ichigo thrashed really bad during his hangover.

_Interesting. I have a surprise for you! _

Frey; Uh-oh.

_We're responding to reviews! First up, _Random Crap!

Random Crap reviews/ comments

Ayumi Oguri; So, does anyone in this fic have a sense of humor?

_Hi, me!_

Frey; You can't comment on your own story!

_Apparently I can. Byakuya, Frey, and Ichigo are all NO's, but everyone else is a MAYBE._

Delilah Sensei; Thank you for making me crack up!

_You're welcome! It's nice to get POSITIVE comments now and then. Got that, Suigami-san?! DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY FIC!_

Kameko Suigami; There IS a crossover section, you know. This would probably fit in better over there.

_First off, I like my category fine, and second, I don't want to put this in a crossover section. It's too damn confusing._

A Tribute to L comments

4marauders; Aaw I nearly cry every time I see him die T.T I still watched the rest 'cause I don't mind Near, but I love the film cos L wins and I can't wait for the L movie.

_I know how it feels- I nearly cry every time I log onto youtube 'cause I have a really cool amv on L. It took me a while to accept that he was dead, though._

_Fun fact; If you could upload pictures onto there would be a picture of L right before the poem and another right after the speech._

Irvine Cypher; "Nate Rivers must die!"hahaha! yeah...most people stopped reading/watching when L died. I did too, but I was forced o watch to the end. Which I didn't like.

_I'm not alone! YES! Finally, other people admired L enough to watch _Death Note_ in the first place! By the way, you kinda contradicted yourself..._

Frey; Don't criticize the readers. They'll stop reading.

_Shut up, homo._

Frey; I AM NOT GAY!

_Liar!_

The Descendants comments

kisa sohma cookie; I like the sound of it so far, it sounds interesting.

_Thanx._

kisa sohma cookie; Is Yumi the descendant of Mello? That would be funny if they come face to face with each other, Mello would be all like "What the hell?!"

_Sadly, Yumi can't be Mello's descendant, since she's Asuka's best friend. Yumi is Matsuda's descendant and Takumi is Mello's descendant. You'll understand why he knows this in the next chapter, trust me._

Frey; Don't give away the plot! Idiot!

_Homo!_

Frey; I am NOT a homo!

_SURE you aren't._

Frey; I'm not!

_Whatever. Hey, I just remembered! Byakuya HAS to come back! I have his zanpaku-to!_

_Next time, on _Random Crap;

_None of your f$#ing business!_

Renji; Can I come over?

_I guess._

_Save otaku. Please review._


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer; I own not of _Fruits Basket BleachAlice 19th_, or _Death Note_. Fortunately._

Random Crap chp. -

_Hey Frey? What chapter is this?_

Frey; 8.

_Thanx._

Random Crap chp. 8

_Guess what!_

Kon; What?

Kyo; You've got a boyfriend?

Yuki; You've learned something?

_Shut up, asshole! I learn somethin' almost every day!_

Yuki; **Almost **every day?

_I usually don't learn anything on the days I don't have school._

Yuki; Of course. Just like the stupid cat.

_Watch it, buddy. I can kill you. Or better yet, I'll have Ayame come over..._

Yuki; Shutting up.

Ayame; I have been summoned?

_Ayame- kun! What are you doing here?_

Ayame; I heard my name and...

Yuki; F$#! Ayumi, you bitch!

_Language, my dear Yuki. I still have the ability to kick your ass._

Yuki; Yeah right, you bitch! You told I wouldn't have to deal with him today!

_You aren't going to deal with him. You're going to thank him for coming and enjoy his company. Isn't that right, Yuki?_

Yuki; Y-yes, Ma'am.

_Don't call me that._

Yuki; Yes, sir.

_Do you want me to kill you? I will, really I will._

Yuki; Y' know, that sounds familiar...

_That's what I said to Whatshisface before I killed him._

Yuki; Whatshisface?

_Yeah, whatshisface. Ya know, the annoying one. What was his name?_

Ayame; Annoying one... ya mean Kyonkichi??

_No, not him. The OTHER annoying one._

Kyo;...

Yuki;...

Ayame;...

Shigure; You mean Kureno?

_Yeah, him. The rooster. Oh, hi Shigure!_

Kyo; Why'd ya kill Kureno?

'_Cause he pissed me off._

Yuki; How?

_He stole my Death Note manga._

Yuki; You killed him because he took some stupid manga you read for no particular _reason?_

_What ya mean STUPID manga? I mean sure, it might have a crappy storyline, a gay ass main character, somewhat creepy drawings, and as pathetic a sense of humor as Yuki's sense of cooking, but, um, There's still some kick ass characters._

Kyo; Like who?

_Well, L is kick ass, Mat is awesome, Near is cool, Matsuda's pretty cool, and Mello's kinda cool._

Yuki; Are you serious?

Shigure; That seems like a poor reason.

_HEY! You're probably right. Still, at least I'm not a stuck up ass._

Yuki; Were you born in the year of the dog?

_Maybe, maybe not._

Kyo; According to her profile, she was born in 1994.

Yuki; Yeah, you're a stuck up ass.

_HEY! Watch your mouth, you stupid rat!_

Yuki; Go to hell, you stupid dog.

_Ayame, here's some money. I need you to take Yuki someplace Kid friendly._

Ayame; Ah, for the cha-

_Don't start._

Ayame; Alas, is one not allowed to speak the content of one's heart?

_THEY are. YOU aren't. Now, are you going to take advantage of the fact I told you to take Yuki away from here, or are you gonna stand here and preach?_

Ayame; Come, little brother.

Yuki; Huh? No, wait, ItakeitbackItakeitbackItakeitback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Too late. Later!_

Shigure; That was cruel even for you.

_No, it wasn't. Trust me, I know._

Kyo; Right. Well, I'm gonna go watch Yuki die of embarrassment.

_Alright. Don't forget to tell Tohru I said 'Hi'._

Kyo; Whatever.

_Hey! You better tell her I said 'Hi'!_

Kyo; I will, I promise.

_Good. Hey, Shigure, how's Akito?_

Shigure; Why do you care?

'_Cause I'm worried about her._

Shigure; Why?

_Can't I be worried about her?_

Shigure; You can, but it's kinda... suspicious.

_You're so kind. Ass._

Shigure; It takes one to know one!

_Hey, you know the saying 'Opposites attract'?_

Shigure; Hmm?

_Well, I was thinkin' you two kinda destroyed that._

Shigure; What makes you say that?

'_Cause yer both selfish, arrogant, bitchy assholes. And as such, you're both in my top 5 favorite Fruba characters._

Shigure; Um,... Thanks?

_Yer welcome. Wow, this chapter's really long. Ain't it?_

Shigure; Yeah.

_Guess I should wrap this up. And tell Akito I said 'Yo'._

Shigure; Sure. See you later.

_Later._

_Next Time, on _Random Crap;

_The guy with the name I will never spell all the way out is here!_

_Save otaku. Please review._


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer; I do not own any of the anime or characters used in this fic. Sup, peeps?!_

Random Crap chp. 9

_I'M BACK!!_

Frey; Whatever. Are we going to finish this or what?

_YES! But we gotta wait a little bit._

Kon; Why?

_Cuz i only got two reviews or who to make fun of in this chapter so I'm waiting for my friends/family to show up._

Ren Spencer; Hi, Ayu-ch- I mean Ayumi.

_Hi. What're you doing here?_

Ren; You said you needed someone to help you make fun of your siblings, so I asked if I could come and you siad I could.

_Oh yeah! Hi, Ren-chan! Did u really make a profile?!_

Ren; Yeah. I got five afnfic now!

_Seriously?!_

Ren; Yep. You can go read 'em if you want.

_Okay! I'll be right back!_

**_About an hour later_**

_Kay, I'm back. Sorry about that._

Frey; You know I have a computer with me, right?

_Yea. But I prefer my computer, so :P And for those of you who are reading and don't believe I was really gone at all, I was. In one hour I read _The World A Naruto Chat Room _and _Another Effin Naruto Fanfic. _And by the way, you spelt 'her' 'hr' on the first chapter._

Ren; Like you've never made any mistakes!

_Not as many as you! And by the way, I think Ren's new username should be-_

Byakuya; Where is Zenbonsakura?

_Um... PICKLE WEASLE!_

Ren; WTF?!

_Sorry, my brother says it all the time..._

Kaito; PICKLE WEASLE!

_See?_

Renji; Right...

_I'm BORED!_

Frey; S- so, Byakuya- sama, um O/O

Byakuya;?

_HAHA! Frey's gonna propose!_

Kon; No he's not!

_Oooooo someone's got a secret admirerer..._

Ren; How cute!

_HEEHEEHEE! Fear me!_

Uryu; Get off of me, Yachiru!

Yachiru; But Kenny left without me and I don't wanna walk!

_... Uryu, what are you doing to Yachiru?_

Uryu; NOTHING! She asked to ride me cuz Kenpachi left without her, and-

_She asked to ride you? I thought it would be the other way around..._

Ren; Sick.

Byakuya; O.O Yachiru, get away from Ishida immediately.

Renji; I never thought you'd do something like that.

_Now now! Back to Frey's question!_

Frey; Byakuya- sama, can you teach me to be a Soul Reaper?

Byakuya; No.

_Ooooooo rejection!_

Ren; Haha.

Frey; SHUT UP!O/O stalks out of room

Kon; Kinda sensitive, isnt he?

_Yea..._

Yoshiko; KON!

Kon; AAAHHH I DIDN'T DO IT I SWEAR!!

Yoshiko; You wrote "KON WAS HERE" all over my underwear!

Kon; Oh. Yea, that was me.

Yoshiko; Why you little- snatches up Kon and walks to paper shredder

Kaito; When did we get a paper shredder?

_The line before yours._

Kaito; Kinda unrealistic, isn't it?

_Why you little- Grabs Kaito by the ear and pulls him over to moat_

Kaito; AAHHHHHHHH! IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRY!

_Good._

Ren; Right... I gotta go. Later.

_Bye!_

Frey; Heehee.

_What's so funny, gay boy?_

Frey; Who's gay?

_You._

Frey; Better'n bein a pervert.

_You're a gay pervert. That's the worst._

Kaito; Ayu-inu! Byakuya won't lemme play with Senbonzakura!

_Byakuya, let him play with Senbonzakura._

Byakuya; But he'll break it...

_No, he won't. If he does, you have my permission to kill him._

Ichigo; Where the Hell is Kon?

_Oh. Hi, dumbass._

Ichigo; Is there any particular reason you're still insulting me?

_It's fun 3_

Ichigo; So what? It ain't fun for me!

_ Too bad._

Lexi; Hi!

_R-ren? O.O_

Lexi; It's Lexi now.

_Why? I mean, other than the fact that Gaara didn't like it?_

Lexi; IDIDNTCHANGEITFORGAARAICHANGEDITCAUSEI'MSUPERSTITIOUANDACHARACTERNAMEDRENISRAPEDANDMURDEREDINMYFIC!

_Speaking of which, why can't we post anonymous reviews anymore?_

Lexi; Cause someone hurted my feelings...

_Who?_

Lexi; I dunno. They posted an anonymous review.

_Oh... whatever._

Kaito; PICKLE WEASEL!!

_Ugh._

Kon; My... my beautiful body...

Lexi; Did you really only read two of my fic?

_Yeah. The others didn't sound as cool._

Lexi; Real nice.

Shigure; I brought booze!

_Yay!_

Frey; BOO!!

Kaito; Um... I broke Senbonzakura...

Byakuya; WHAT?! pulls out Sakurazaki and starts attacking Kaito with her

_Sakurazaki is my sword._

Shigure; Interesting. Have some booze.

_Gladly._

Frey; Dammit, Oguri!

Next time on _Random Crap_;

Renji; We answer questions and then do whtever the f we please!

_Save otaku. Please review._


	10. Chapter 10

Random Crap Chapter 10

_I'm sodrunk it aint funny!_

Byakuya; Shaddup

Frey; Dood, joo are sho washted.

Shigure; Sho are you.

Ichigo; Am I really the only sober one here?

_N-no.Um... Ishida's here._

Ishida; Yeah! Now, we have a few questions from two people. Kon, you read the second one. Renji, you read the first one.

Renji; Do I reallllllllllllllly gotta do dis?

_Yesh! Now ashk da damn queshun._

Renji; Fine. How ld are you really?

_Ize ish um... I don know..._

Renji; Idiot.

_Shaddup. Kon, your turn._

Kon; Um... Oh, someone wansh to know what da next fic'll be about.

_What next fic?O.. **Blood of the Hitogoroshi**? Ish bout a girl who cn steal jutsu like da ronin but hers are real and dey are powerfill and her brudder wants her to be miserable so he killz her friendz. It's like a messed of vershun of da Uchiha's story._

Shigure; Hay, I gotta queshun.

_What?_

Shigure; Can i haves a hug?

_No. Hug Frey._

Frey; Dont do i youll ruin my shrt-

Shigure; throws up on Fray's shirt

Frey; M-m-my Byakuya t-shirt...

_Byakuya!_

Byakuya; What?

_Tell your fangirl to shaddup, my buzz ish wearin off and i got a hangover._

Byakuya; Shaddup, Frey.

Near; You know the probability of you parents arriving home are very high at this point.

_NEAR! glomps_

Near; Um... hi?

_Near where's L and Mat and Mello I thought they were coming with you!_

Near; Mello and Mat are a little... indisposed... at the moment, and I L will be here shortly. He's bringing cake, ice cream, candy, and more cake.

_YAY! Sugar!_

Near; I brought you your pictures.

_Yay! Naruto pics for people that don't hate me!_

Mello; You know, I don't see why I'm in trouble, your the one that for got how to put on a c-

Mat; Shut up. Right now.

_No, plese Mello, continue._

Mello; Um... we'll discuss this later, Mat.

Near; You really shouldn't be talking about that right now anyway. Ayumi's been reading yaoi with Lexi.

Mat; Crap.

_So, Mello, were you the uke or the seme?_

Mello; Um... O/O

_Uke? I knew it._

Mat; Hey, look, Frey has a picture of Byakuya in his wallet!

Frey; Hey! Gimme dat back!

Near; Nice save, Mat. I'm impressed.

_Heehee. Frey's got a man crush. Frey's got a man crush._

Frey; Mello's the girl!

_Heehee. Mello's uke._

Mat; Crap.

Mello; Dammit!

_Heehee. Mello and Frey are both uke._

Mello & Frey; SHUT THE F& UP ABOUT SEX ALREADY!

_Uh-oh, looks like Mello's cheating on you..._

Kon; Um, you guys? This is the last chapter, try to ly off the sex jokes.

_? Why should I?_

Kon; Because if you dont Byakuya will never talk to you again.

_Really?_

Kon; Yes.

_Okay then..._

L; I brought sweet stuff!

_Okay, so where's all the food?_

Frey; Ayumi, are you trying to... flirt?

_Um... um... PICKLE WEASEL!!_

L; ?

Near; She's upset.

L; Ok then.

**Three hours later, after L goes out and uses his legal drinking age abilities to purchase more booze...**

Shigure; I can buy booze, too!

_But I wanted L to get it._

Byakuya; Why?

_Cuz he bought sweet sake._

Byakuya; Ugh. If I have any more sugar I'mm gonna throw up...

Ishida; Me, too

Kon; Anyone who isn't sick to their stomach from all this sugar raise your hand!

L, Mello, and Ayumi raise their hands

Kon; Freaks. We're going home.

_But the fireworks dont start for ten seconds!_

Kon; Fireworks?

_Yeah!_

**At that moment, fireworks illuminated the sky.**

_I asked Kisuke to mke them. Look, there's Kon!_

**For an hour the group watched as fireworks shaped as different characters lit the night sky. At the end, only Ayumi, Mat, and Mello are awake. You can see why, right?**

_So... Mello's the uke, huh?_

Mat; Are you still on that?

_Maybe..._

Mello; Actually, we usually trade positions sometimes. I'm usually seme.

_Really?_

Mat; You. Shut up. Now.

_So, MAT'S the uke?_

So ends_ Random Crap._ If you don't know what "seme" and "uke" are, look it up, cuz I ain't explaining it.

Also, Snowwika, Gaarafan13, and Lexi Matthews will be recieving Naruto and Bleach pictures. Enjoy them.


End file.
